Goblin Damned Tee


Regular price $25.00
Goblin Damned Tee
Goblin Damned Tee
Goblin Damned Tee
Goblin Damned Tee
Goblin Damned Tee
Goblin Damned Tee
Goblin Damned Tee
Goblin Damned Tee
"Art thou a spirit of health or a goblin damned?" That is the question posed by 1847 gothic horror story Varney the Vampire. And it's the best question I’ve ever heard. Because sometimes I’m jogging, I’m eating vegetables, breakfast is a smoothie and I am a spirit of health. But last night -- no lie -- I ate Cheetos for dinner and fell asleep in jean shorts and am a goblin damned. I’ve never appreciated a dichotomy more.

From episode Vampirology (VAMPIRES) with Dr. Jeff Holdeman.

• Solid colors 100% ring-spun cotton
• Heather colors 52% cotton 48% polyester
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/y² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Side-seamed construction

Please be sure to measure and choose your size accordingly. These shirts are printed just for you when you order, so we aren't able to exchange or return based on sizing. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

Care guide: To avoid fading and cracking of the print, machine-wash cold, inside-out on a gentle cycle with a mild detergent and like colors. Use non-chlorine bleach only when necessary. Do not use any fabric softeners or dry-clean the items. Shirt can be tumble-dried on a low cycle, but hang-dry works best. When it comes to ironing, use cool iron inside-out. Don't iron the print.

Size guide:

  LENGTH (inches) WIDTH (inches) CHEST (inches)
XS 27 16 ½ 31-34
S 28 18 34-37
M 29 20 38-41
L 30 22 42-45
XL 31 24 46-49
2XL 32 26 50-53
3XL 33 28 54-57
4XL 34 30 58-61
5XL 35 31 62-65


  LENGTH (cm) WIDTH (cm) CHEST (cm)
XS 68.6 42 78.7-86.4
S 71.1 45.7 86.4-94
M 73.7 50.8 96.5-104.1
L 76.2 55.9 106.7-114.3
XL 78.7 61 116.8-124.5
2XL 81.3 66 127-134.6
3XL 83.8 71.1 137.2-144.8
4XL 86.4 76.2 147.3-155
5XL 89



Products measured laying flat. Measurements may vary up to 2" (5 cm).

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